Welcome to the Official Blogspot for Leigh Ann DiDomenico, MA aka ANNHGIEL!!

Welcome to the Official Blogspot for Leigh Ann DiDomenico, MA aka ANNHGIEL!!
"The Angel with the Crooked Halo"

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Leigh Ann is multi-talented creative freelance professional. She specializes in performance poetry, hosting, modeling, acting, and mixed media visual art. Leigh Ann is a COMMERCIAL, BEAUTY, and PETITE FASHION MODEL and ACTRESS and is available for PAID PRINT, TV, and FILM shoots. Will gladly TRAVEL (expenses paid) for work! Leigh Ann is also a nationally ranked SLAM POET, placing 3rd in the nation and 2nd in the west coast region, and is available to FEATURE at theatres, slams, open mics, and on the radio. She is also a published AUTHOR and an ARTIST who creates and sells unique one-of-a-kind furniture and home decor. Leigh Ann's artwork, ANNHGIEL DESIGNS, can be purchased at 4th Ave by the Tracks in Kalispell, MT, as well as custom ordered. Finally, Leigh Ann has her MASTERS DEGREE in Psychology and is an experienced COUNSELOR, TUTOR, and YOUTH MENTOR.

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Please feel free to for booking!! Thank you!!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Poem: Beautiful

My family was beautiful.
tall dark and handsome held hands with
big breasted hour glass brown beauty
And their babies
so cute you could pinch them
we were the Italian picture of perfection.

but thin layers of presentation
concealed
deep
echoes
dripping silent
screams
and bloody teeth

I was 8 years old when I decided I didn't want to see anymore
swapped 20-20 for peach rimmed spectacles
too big
for my small face
embarrassment leaked from that first school picture
like the rest of the lies I told myself
like I'd rather see blurry beautiful
than ugly with clarity
I'd rather make spotted blobs of sunshine
than see sharp canines sink into my skin clearly

broken mirrors comfort me
I'd rather watch a symphony of shining shards
than stare into my shame squarely
I remember
a morning
I woke up in my very first apartment
I was 19 years old
I'd been up all night swimming in a cocktail of elixirs
a dizzy moon staring into my reflection
cheeks sunken
nose red
mountainous pink topography
dotting a pale landscape
purple blue fingerprints pressed deep beneath
empty
eyes
I was ugly

And as I covered these badlands
with smooth skin
dark lined eyes
long lashes
shining alluring lips
I hated myself
Because at least before I looked
the way I felt

I was told I was too pretty to write this poem
erase the 15 years you couldn’t
look at your own reflection without
the veneer that separated you from your mirror
erase the 8 years you spent not shaving your legs
in the endeavor to love yourself
in spite of-
look at her--
a monster!
But I knew
what real monsters looked like
I was 8 years old
When I decided I didn't want to see anymore
swapped 20-20 for peach rimmed spectacles
and crisp ugly for distorted beauty

And I haven't seen myself since then

See I rely on other people feeding me back my worth to see it
So every compliment falls off my shoulders like discarded diapers
and criticism sticks
like the last time I saw my sister
and my cousin's awkward voice on the other end of the phone the last we spoke
We stumbled on superficial like a child’s first steps
They say I'm a people pleaser
This only means I allow blurry monsters to bite chunks from my flesh
in exchange for a magic mirror
not yet broken
reflecting back even a small amount of
beauty
maybe that's why I still exchange my pussy
for currency—
a stranger
who told me
I was
pretty.
Most nights I sleep with my makeup on
Not because I forget to wash my face but because I'm afraid
To wash off
thin layers of presentation

I look in the mirror too much
Mostly to make sure the inside of me is
Not
Leaking out in smeared makeup
Never leave the house
without my cover-up.

He told me
My heart was a mirror that could not break
though i may believe it broken it is only
because it is being reflected
through these
Spectacles
Blurry beautiful shining behind closed eyelashes
too afraid to see you are not
the ugly forced upon you
hand me a 20 and I'll hand you one back
smash your spectacles
wash off your embarassment
your makeup
peek out from behind your hiding place
you
are
beautiful
look here
in this mirror

see?

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